I’ve had a lot of disappointing relationships, of all sorts. All for various reasons. Disappointing maybe only in that they ended, or perhaps, just the way they ended. I’ve learned from most and regretted - only a few. The people you let into your life shape you. The good ones - they breathe fresh air into your lungs, they inspire you; they can make you imagine a life you’ve never envisioned for yourself, they can make your brain on cloud 10 with only a few kind words. Those are the best. The relationships you have that, however brief, make you grow leaps and bounds, or awaken something inside of you that was long forgotten. And when the good ones end - that can be soul wrenching.
The devastation left in the wake of a failed relationship, the absence of a person whose presence at one time was felt so deeply in your life - it can make you want to crawl right up into the center of yourself and lock the door. And rightfully so. No one wants a good thing to end. No one wants to feel pain, neglect, abandonment. No one wants to feel alone.
But by closing all the doors and windows to the deepest parts of ourselves, we’re not only keeping others out, we’re locking ourselves in. So what I’ve learned is this: no matter how uncomfortable and how terrifying it may be to let others inside of my world, I will continue to allow myself to be vulnerable. It is a testament to my strength, not to my weakness; to my braveness, not to my fear. It is me staring you in the eye and saying - “I know you may hurt me, and if you do, I’ll overcome it. But my life is more whole with you in it. And nothing good ever comes without risk.”
